No matter how many ways I say it, saying good-bye is never easy. In fact, it’s down right uncomfortable no matter how it’s said or received. Good-bye is usually affiliated with pain and finality. Good-bye can also be closure or it can be temporary–as in for now.
By the time we reach adulthood, we learn that some good-byes are simply inevitable. Our lives changes and so does our circumstances. Nobody can foresee death, but when it happens, we know good-byes are in order. On Wednesday, August 10, 2016, I’ll will say good-bye to my dear friend Vicki because she and her husband are moving to Pennsylvania.
Honestly, I’m feeling a certain kind of way. Somehow, the words continue to get caught in my throat– I am in denial. Sure, I attended her going away party last week, but it doesn’t mean I’m emotionally good. While I am happy for her, I cannot help feeling sadness but not sorry for myself. In fact, I consider myself lucky that Vicki and I became friends. These days, I am very cautious who I call friend, but in this case, I feel so honored she’s part of my life.
Writing about our friendship—even now—is bittersweet. I thought I could detach and just write from the heart, but it’s not working too well emotionally. Even as the tears fall, I continue to write this tribute to Vicky. So, here goes. Our friendship took flight in 2005/2006, when we worked together as teachers assistants. Nobody told us how strong we would have to be in this daily, challenging environment. Luckily, Vicki is the epitome of being cool, calm and collected. You’ll rarely ever see her sweat. One of her many attributes is that Vicki is positive which I immediately gravitated to despite my best intentions to stay aloof. I remember us laughing until our sides hurt when I told her what I was really thinking about her:
Who’s this happy chick?
Who shows up with this can-do-attitude?
Who always has a scripture or common sense example off the cuff?
And who, pray tell, even recognizes their co-worker whose a bit stand offish and won’t even return a smile.
“Hey Love,” she’d say giving me a big hug the first thing Monday morning. Really?
“Hey yourself,” I say after the embrace while looking at her sideways.
“I’ve already observed you have mad creative skills. Great! You and I are going to get along fine. Did I mention I told some of the teachers you’re also writer too?”
“Girl please,” I said rolling my eyes in disdain.
Yet, Vicki never gave up on me. Somehow, she has this uncanny ability to love deep from the heart and to love unconditionally—flaws in all. She’s always say “Girl, just be your authentic self and that’ s good enough. This time last year, I tried to “gloss over” a major event in my life.
“I’m fine,” I said obviously overly exaggerating “fine.”
“Girl, I’m on my way,” she said.
Now, I realize that she was on loan to me from God for He must have known that I needed a true friend.
Good-bye for now, my friend. There, I said it.
Knowing this good-bye is only temporarily, I quickly change the trajectory my thinking by saying “See ya soon.”
In parting, I dedicate this quote to our friendship: “We shared our happiness and we’ve shared our fears. We shared so many things throughout the years. And when the times were hard we were by each other’s side. You were there to make me laugh when I cried.” Missy Ulbrich.
I love you Vicki.