My Ride and Die Girl
She told me it would happen.
I didn’t listen.
I was in denial.
I was “in love.”
In my eyes, heart, and mind, he could do no wrong.
She knew me.
We were friends for 20 years.
Many days, we laughed, talked, cried, swapped secrets and solutions.
With her, I was the REAL me.
Faults and all.
She had seen me through my darkest days.
Through my divorce.
Stood by me and with me when my son had Cancer.
The days when I didn’t have one thin dime.
My many careers.
There are many dimensions of me. She was non-judgmental.
Then it happened. My world was changing: I was in a new relationship.
She was the voice of reason.
She knew from experience, headaches and heart break what vulnerability looked like.
She was right there with me each year of my sacrificial relationship I willingly put in with him–only to be hurtfully disappointed.
Longevity doesn’t always mean healthy, she advised me.
But this time, this year, with this man, I had a plan that involved “shared goals and visions.”
He was paradoxical, had abandonment issues and often moody.
She saw it before I did: there was no future.
He had taken me to ground zero too many times.
There were hosts of other deal breakers, but I choose to only see the best in him.
At this point, she didn’t hold back.
She couldn’t stand to see me suffer.
She was taking a big risk.
But she had to say it.
You’ve made the sacrifices.
He remained stagnant in all areas.
He’s not the one. Period.
She’s heard me cry too many times.
She knew I’d accept him back.
Even though he broke my heart, I forgave him.
I was willing to do more, try harder, compromise.
She already knew it wasn’t going to work.
But this time, she came spiritually.
“God has something/someone better for you.”
Her truth convicted me.
“God wants your undivided attention,” she told me.
She was on point.
I hit the rock bottom.
I was an emotional wreck.
She loved me unconditionally.
She loved me through the piercing pain and she reminded me that how much God loved me.
“You are His child; so, He removed what was harmful and pouring into your love, guidance, and acceptance.”
I’ll never forget the day she found me in the fetal position, curled up, not wanting to face the world.
She cradled my head, wiped my snotty nose, wiped my tears and put me to bed.
He’s long gone.
Two strikes he’s out.
She’s still here.
God sent her to me.
Ride and Die.
Friends for so many years.
She’s already told me, she ain’t going nowhere.
And it is so.